Welcome everyone, to this week's article! We are glad you could join us. This week Mary Ann has brought us something a little more hands on than usual. She has for us a little assessment, to measure the amount of boundary crossing we allow in our lives. Here is what she has for us:

What is Co-Dependency?

Co-dependency is an unhealthy need for another’s love or approval. It says “Who I am, how I feel and how I act depend on the actions, opinions and attitudes of others.”
The roots of Co-dependency are a need for love, acceptance and feeling valued.
How does Co-dependency affect you? With which of the following behaviors can you identify?

Answer YES or No to the following statements
  1. You have trouble seeing the boundaries between your problems and someone else’s
  2. You allow people to impose on you- you have trouble saying No
  3. You always put your needs last
  4. If things go wrong you automatically assume it is your fault
  5. You apologize constantly
  6. You will shape your behavior to suit the circumstances rather than take charge of things
  7. You empathize strongly with others and can even feel more strongly than they do
  8. You tend to think that other people or circumstances control your future
  9. You have difficulty making decisions and constantly ask others for advice
  10. You tend to punish yourself

  1. You believe that your way is the right way
  2. You have trouble with people saying no to you
  3. You are easily angered
  4. You rarely give in unless it is on your own terms
  5. You are not very flexible and find it difficult to compromise
  6. You are not often moved by the problems of others- you assume that their problems are their own fault
  7. You will tend to put your own needs ahead of others and make decisions with little regard for how they will affect others.
  8. You want to be in control
  9. You often violate the boundaries of others
  10. You ten to punish others

If you had more ticks in the first list then it is likely that you allow others to violate your boundaries.

If you had more ticks in the second list then you have a greater tendency to cross over the boundaries of others in order to get your needs met.

God’s Plan for Healthy Interdependence
God is the source of Love, acceptance and value.
People are a valued resource, created by God to support and encourage one another.
We are dependent by nature. We require healthy relationships if we are to live fulfilled lives.
We cannot do life alone.
We were built for community.
God intended that we desire the love and acceptance of others and so it is natural for us to seek to fill this need.
God desires for us to seek him first for our sense of identity and experience his never changing Love for us.

By: Mary Ann Griffith; Excerpt from Woman to Woman Study